Hannah Montana Is Dead [Updated Below]

Miley Cyrus’s self-slutification continues apace.  I learned yesterday from Stacy McCain that another upskirt picture of the underage Miss Cyrus without her underwear had been published….this time by Reuters.

Stacy has the details [but, rightly, refuses to publish the offending picture] and comments:

Well, I’m not going to link the photo, which is disturbingly creeptastic. As easy as it would be to dish out a lot of snark about Miley Cyrus’ wardrobe choices and/or her apparent embrace of the trend toward extreme depilation, the issue raised by this photo is far too serious for mere snark.

Indeed.  Last week he and I both engaged in a bit of snark when grabastic piece of amphibian s–t Perez Hilton published his Naked Miley Cyrus Upskirt Photo, but this is, as Stacy writes, too concerning a situation for that now. 

Stacy offers three very good suggestions for what should happen next.  In the Comments section of his posting, I offered this suggestion…

Miss Cyrus should now discard her Hannah Montana character as it no longer fits as her alter ego. She should revive the old military favorite: Sally Rotten Crotch…or as Full Metal Jacket has it:

GUNNERY SARGENT HARTMAN: ‘Tonight, you pukes will sleep with your rifles. You will give your rifle a girl’s name. Because this is the only pussy you people are going to get. Your days of finger-banging old Mary Jane Rotten Crotch through her pretty pink panties are over. You’re married to this piece, this weapon of iron and wood. And you will be faithful.’

It would be an easy transition for Miss Cyrus because (1) she would just have to follow the Lohan/Spears Playbook and (2) South Park has already designed the character:

UPDATE at 1725…

Over at Carol’s Closet, Carol offers a contrast to The Lohan/Spears Way Of Transitioning Into Adulthood:

We are told that Cyrus is trying to “transition to adulthood.” Fair enough. Someone who cares about Cyrus and her future (hello, Mom, Dad, are you there?) should guide her and perhaps point out that respected and successful stars don’t show up in magazines with their privates exposed or celebrate at their wrap party by giving their producer a lap dance. Britney Spears and Lindsey Lohan may act that way but Jodie Foster and Meryl Streep most certainly do not. Someone should also tell her to get an education. (Streep has an undergraduate degree from Vassar, attended Dartmouth, and has a graduate degree from Yale) An education will broaden her experiences, make her a more interesting person and introduce her a better class of people than she currently hanging out with.

Right on, Carol.

SIDENOTE: ‘A better class of people’?  Well then, if she doesn’t want to go the college route [you know, it’s not for everybody], she could become a rightwing blogger and hang around with us.