‘Who Controls The Past’…

…ran the Party slogan, ‘controls the future: who controls the present controls the past.’

That is, unless you try to re-write the past in an utterly obvious and amateurish way.

Which brings us, once again, to Team Obama, those Masters Of Mediocrity, those Deployers Of Droning Deleterious Dreck, those Bonifacators Of Botoxic Bromides, who have made another fumbling, stumbling, and bungling attempt to alter history in order to make it Doubleplus-Ogood. Can you say: ‘EPIC: FAIL’?

[This is getting to be way too easy for we conservatives.]

From Contentions, Seth Mandel reporting, we learn:

…it turns out Obama has added bullet points bragging about his own accomplishments to the biographical sketches of every single U.S. president since Calvin Coolidge (except, for some reason, Gerald Ford) [on The White House website].

Here are two examples:

On Feb. 22, 1924 Calvin Coolidge became the first president to make a public radio address to the American people. President Coolidge later helped create the Federal Radio Commission, which has now evolved to become the Federal Communications Commission (FCC). President Obama became the first president to hold virtual gatherings and town halls using Twitter, Facebook, Google+, LinkedIn, etc.

And…

In a June 28, 1985 speech Reagan called for a fairer tax code, one where a multi-millionaire did not have a lower tax rate than his secretary. Today, President Obama is calling for the same with the Buffett Rule.

That last one is really over the top, ascribing to The Raygun Obama’s Socialist way of thinking — a man-child who is not fit to be in the great man’s presence. Not only is that statement an indefensible and vile insult against President Reagan, but it is so badly executed a piece of propaganda that it’s Goddamn hilarious. What a pathetic loser.

Tip of the fedora to the great Ed Driscoll, who posts a video of an old SNL skit I had long forgotten about, but is worth a look.

Bryan Preston comments:

We’re at the end of history, my fellow Americans, and Barack Obama is the last man. The previous 43 presidents were mere forerunners, unfit to tie Obama’s sandals. All that has come before culminates in him. Maybe I should capitalize that “h” from now on.

Moe Lane puts Barry on the couch:

Honestly, at some point you have to start thinking of this as a cry for help. What’s next? Funny haircuts and whining on Facebook?

I wouldn’t be surprised. Also: if this is a cry for help, I ain’t answering.

Over at NRO, Daniel Foster has discovered some more AMAZING! historical facts regarding Julius Obamacus Nero Caesar [formerly: Barack Hussein Soetero-Marshall-Davis-Obama], Anti-President of The United States Of America, Fearless Leader and Duce [Dou'che?], Lowerer Of The Seas, Defender Of The Islamic Faith Cult, Apologist Of All That Is American, Sovereign Of The Stimulus, Healer Of The Earth, Duke Of No Nukes, Sovereign Restorer Of Images, Messiah Of The Lay-Abouts, Sovereign Organizer Of Communities, Duke Of Alinsky, Sovereign and Most Honourable Provider Of Health Care, Grand Poohba of the Most Venerable Order of Narcissists, Financial Adviser-In-Chief, Physician-In-Chief, Linguist-In-Chief, Personal Trainer-In-Chief, Supreme Spiculate of Spite, Lord Of The Food Stamps, Defender Of The Debt, Earl Of Tantrum, King of the Irony Throne of the Seven Kingdoms in The Game Of Drones, Kings of Rooseveltia, Supreme Poetry Master, etc. Here’s one of them [tip of the fedora to Mike Hendrix]:

“In the 12th Century B.C., Moses the Lawgiver delivered the Ten Commandments to the Israelites. President Obama the Lawgiver has added significantly to them, overseeing the enactment of a record number of new regulations.”

Pundette reports on how conservatives have, once again, used Twitter to ridicule another asinine action from Team Obama:

Twitter is all over this. Check out #ObamainHistory and Twitchy’s compilation of well-deserved mockery. One good one out of thousands:

@BenShapiro: President Lincoln ended slavery and maintained the Union. President Obama once thought about growing a beard. #obamainhistory

Wait a minute! I thought Lady Michbeth was Barry’s beard???

The Memeorandom thread.

Old Man Nemesis has got to be liking this.